United States Playing Cards 1001781 Double-Pack Poker Cards
List Price: Our Price: $5.98 You Save: $8.01 (57%) Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Category: Sports See more equipment details Equipment DetailsManufacturer: BicycleBrand: Bicycle Model: 1001781 Product features:
Sports reviews of United States Playing Cards 1001781 Double-Pack Poker CardsCustomer Review: Play Cards and Defend Yourself! En Garde!
I bought these cards for family functions. Since my family consists of little more than alcoholics, degenerate gamblers, and welfare recipients, having cards, booze, and money at parties is the only thing that will get them to show up. Yes, even for major holidays. On Christmas, Grandma can be found in her rocker sipping a hot mug of Bailey's, Grandpa can be spotted on the couch with a bucket of his own vomit between his legs, and the children can be seen pitching pennies near the outhouse. In any case, I bought these cards and they're actually pretty nice. My only complaint is that you only get 5 "bonus dice." Many of the games we play require 6 dice, but it's really not big deal. The cards are sturdy enough for typical use and don't have that "super slippery" feel to them as if they're made out of plastic sheeting. All in all, they're your typical deck of cards that will probably last about a year with very frequent use and at least 5 years if you just pull them out at parties. Of course, these cards will be in the garbage before my next party is over because some alcoholic fool will spill something on them or barf all over them. Last year, Uncle Ted puked into the bowl we were using to hold our bets. You should have seen how Great-Grandma-Jeannie was digging through the vomit to collect her winnings. It was disgusting. How did I ever make anything of myself being related to this troupe of ignoramuses? Normally, we just play poker or 31, but someone suggested we play a game of war with these cards. Being unfamiliar with the game, Aunt Betsy taught me the ropes. I never realized that cards could be used as offensive weapons! I took to it like a Russian toddler to a bottle of Stoli. We had all moved to our defensive locations and began flinging the cards like Chinese stars. These cards are much sturdier than I expected. I whipped one across the room so hard that it sliced right through Uncle Horace's ear and embedded itself in the wall behind him. As my portion of the deck began to run low, I was getting worried. Cousin Earl and I were the only two who hadn't suffered paper cuts. It was down to us. I saw him darting from couch to coffee table to recliner picking up more playing card ammunition. I was down to three cards and had no other cards in sight. That's when I pulled out my dice grenades! I ripped the elastic bad from my underwear and loaded it with a single die. As Cousin Earl stood to attack, I pulled back the die like a slingshot and fired! I got him right in the eye! I won! These cards are great and while they only gave me five dice, I only needed one. I don't know why in the world I was complaining that I didn't get six! Cousin Earl was carted off the the hospital, everyone else applied their bandages, and then I was allowed to take advantage of my victory. The winning player gets to slap all the losers in their faces one time. While most everyone took it well, Great-Grandma-Jeannie whined and complained when her dentures went flying out of her mouth and broke. She can dish it, but she sure can't take it! You'd think she'd learn to be a little tougher being 97 and having lived through 2 World Wars and the Great Depression. Cousin Earl also didn't take his slap too well. After they'd patched him up at the hospital, I went to visit him. Apparently, my slap caused some kind of stitching to break and now he's got to have surgery again or he'll have a lazy eye forever. I'm sure I'll hear about that for the next ten years. In the end, the cards are great even though my family can't take a good slap in the face without complaining! I can't wait till Christmas when we get to play War again! I never knew card playing could be so physical! Buy these cards! They Rock!
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